It is true. I admit it. I am not perfect at relationships. However, at least I tried.
I have no trouble jumping back on the horse that threw me – the horse known as Relationship. Sometimes I wonder why I want to be on the horse to begin with. As I stand in the mirror reflecting at this newly single person, I reflect on the question, “What is a relationship failure?” Is it being married for 50 years but not happy? Is it never getting married because no one was good enough? Or is it marrying a person you thought was great, but broke-up with at some point down the road?
In my case I married. Sadly I reached a point where I could not longer make the people around me, or myself happy in the situation. This leaves me wondering if ending an unhealthy relationship is really a success rather than a failure? At least I know what makes me happy or unhappy. Does it make sense to keep going down a path where you know you can never achieve the life you want?
If people waited until they were 100% sure to do something, then we would all be dead. Why? Because we would be afraid that food was not safe to eat, that we might injure ourselves getting out of bed in the morning, or kissing a child will contaminate us with germs making us sick. Perfection and the existence of life (including relationships) do not align. When you say ‘people’, you are really saying ‘imperfection’. Sometimes it is the imperfections that we love most about people. Doesn’t it give them character?
Would you rather live and experience life with all its flaws, or sit on the sidelines doing only what you can do perfectly? The problem in life is the moving pieces. In the puzzle of life, the pieces are constantly shifting and changing shape. To me it is better to take a chance and gain experiences – love, hurt, anger, loss and maybe ‘fail miserably’ in the eyes of the judgmental. It is better than being paralyzed by perfection. My life is filled with great memories and I will not wonder “what if”, because although I don’t have a perfect life to show for it, I have lived. There is a saying that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. In my case it feels better to have lived and been imperfect than to have never lived at all. Which life would you choose?