Last night I was out with a group of friends for a birthday celebration. After a nice quiet dinner, we all went to a bar. I was looking around and realized that I was old enough to be the parent of most of the people in the bar. The music was extremely loud even for my already damaged ears. It was at this point that I realized I was getting too old for this #%$&*$.

I don’t know why I thought the music in the place was too loud. I turn up the radio in my car quite loud (as I am singing along) but for some reason this was giving me a headache. Maybe it was the type of music or the strange compilations of music. I think I heard some Beastie Boys, but I was in disbelief about that. Why were they playing music that was popular 20 years ago? Maybe my hearing was worse than I thought.

The other thing that I became painfully aware of was my shoes. I was wearing black slip-on shoes with a wedge heel, which just couldn’t compete with the flame-red platform heels I saw some girl dancing around in. I am not ’40 and flashy’, but at least I can admit it. At least my black top and skirt fit me and I didn’t have a muffin top because I tried to squeeze into jeans 2 sizes too small. I commented to my friend, ” I may feel old in here, but at least I don’t feel fat”. Somehow after having two children, I still felt like I had a better shape than most of the girls in this bar.

As I looked around at the men (or boys?) in the bar, I have to say I honestly didn’t see anyone that was really ‘hot’ or even good-looking. Clearly the attractive men were not hanging out at this Scottsdale bar. Then again, maybe my taste has really changed, because I really don’t see anything wrong with balding, gray hair, or short guys – as long as they are funny. (I say this as I look over at my tall, dark and handsome husband who also happens to be funny). Maybe the generation gap was just way too much, or it was the idea that I could have been changing these people’s diapers while I was in high school. I like to think of myself as ‘generation’ agnostic – I can get along with anyone of any age. Seriously, this bar made me feel like I landed on another planet.

I realized that I don’t want to be 21 again. I already learned all the hard lessons, so why would I want to relive that? However, I still love to run, do yoga, eat great food, dance, and laugh as hard as I did when I was 21. I guess now the focus of my life’s pleasures are much different. Now instead of hanging out the bar until it closes I would rather stop by a gelato place on the way home and arrive home shortly after midnight (instead of stopping at Denny’s at 3AM and arriving home just before sunrise). Now if I get very little sleep it is because I am writing or doing something else I deem productive. Maybe when I was 21 I thought bar hopping was productive, but now it seems almost as wasteful as watching TV. So I am definitely too old for bar scene, but I am definitely not too old to live.